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Thursday, May 04, 2006

I do like an amusing shop name. Even if I don't like coffee. I was going to suggest this one for inclusion in the next edition of Shop Horror, but having scrolled through the message board, I've realised I can't compete with fish & chip shops called 'Salt n Battery' and 'Wholly Mackerel', so I haven't bothered. I think I'll return instead to my campaign to persuade the canine clothing shop in Brighton to rename themselves 'Doggy Style'.

But anyhoo, I had a property inspection yesterday morning by my never-less-than-useless letting agents, so naturally I vacated my flat for five hours in an attempt to avoid having to answer any awkward questions about the brown stain on the ceiling. Which is what led me to Felixstowe and the Froffee Coffee encounter. Whilst there, I took the opportunity to trawl the charity shops for bargains, and ended up spending a pound on the Bruce Willis film 'Unbreakable', primarily because the video case was broken. It's little things like that which make me laugh.

I'm also on the verge of being nominated for a community service award, after impressing the staff of the Red Cross Shop with an outstanding display of honesty. They were selling videos for £1.30, buy one get one free, so I chose two ('The Best of Frasier', and 'Signs', coincidentally by the same writer/director as 'Unbreakable', so if that's not a sign, I don't know what is), plus the PC game Max Payne for £3. Unfortunately the two old dears on the counter, who were somewhat distracted by their quest to inform all the customers that the weather was indeed lovely, and that Thursday would be even hotter, failed to spot the difference between a video and a PC game, and told me to go and get another one, as they were buy one get one free.

I pointed out their mistake, and the ladies (who are clearly used to being fleeced on a daily basis) were so taken aback that they began to declare me the most honest man they'd ever met. This level of awe then increased dramatically when they saw the price of the PC game, and couldn't believe I was actually willing to pay an extra £1.70, rather than keeping quiet and pocketing the difference. Although to be fair, it did cross my mind.

On the downside, I was forced to stand there for a good two minutes while they sang my praises (not literally, although it was touch and go at one point), and told me that these days everyone rips off charity shops, and I'm basically a living saint, and the natural successor to Mother Theresa. To be honest, they were probably just hoping I'd let them keep the 70p change. Which was their first mistake. I may be a living saint, but I'm not stupid.