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Monday, July 10, 2006

I received news this morning that my Big Sis has recorded a score of 100% in her American Pilot's License* exam. Which was obviously very exciting news. Particularly as I didn't even know she was taking it. To be honest I thought she was already a qualified pilot, but I expect they have a different kind of sky over there, and on past experience I do think it's important she knows where they keep the fire extinguishers on American planes. Congrats anyway, Big Sis.

The more exciting news of the day however, is that I'm now just one hour away from getting broadband for the first time in my life. Which is the advantage of moving away from a village out in the sticks where people have barely heard of lightbulbs. Considering the amount of rubbish I've managed to publish to the worldwide web on a 56k dial up connection, it doesn't bode well for the general standard of internet content from 8pm tonight, but on the plus side, I now have the tools to build the worldwide porn empire I've always dreamt of.

Anyhoo, while I'm waiting for my super-fast broadband to go live, I've had an enjoyable day chatting to a woman from BT, who rang me up in a last-ditch attempt to persuade me not to leave them. I think her exact words were "This call is not an attempt to influence your decision to change your phone provider", after which she outlined why Cable & Wireless are rubbish, BT are great, and threatened me with a £13 cancellation fee. I told her I'd happily pay it, as I've been looking for another bill to push me over the £3,000 mark for the cost of this darn move. The van hire had left me a few quid short, and I do so like a round number.

On the bright side though, I took a stroll down to the seafront today, in a sort of must-get-out-of-this-flat-before-I-go-insane kind of a way, and discovered that I live less than five minutes walk from the nearest Crazy Golf course. Which is enough to cheer anyone up. On the downside, it's next to Duke's Mound, which, I'm reliably informed, is where the city's gay community go to make sweet love in the open air. So I wouldn't want to lose my ball in the bushes.

On the way back I popped into the local hardware shop for some coat hooks. The young man behind the counter was reading 'The Molecular Biology of Cancer', so something tells me he wasn't planning for a career in DIY. I attempted to feign a smoker's cough to see if I could start a conversation, but all he said was "That's £7.47 please". Sometimes I wonder why I bother.

* Don't even go there, spelling enthusiasts.