Actually, before I get on to the sour-faced tyrant, can I just say Happy Birthday to Lisa's middle nephew who's three today. When I first started e-mailing Lisa, he was still flopping about in the womb - little did I know that just three short years later, I'd be his only friend. No seriously, according to Lisa's Mum, no one else likes him. At least I think that's what she said.
Anyhoo, back to the shrivelled old witch. I had the pleasure of sitting in a doctor's waiting room for an hour and a quarter yesterday afternoon (purely coincidental, and nothing to do with collapsing from hunger), and having flicked through a few copies of Vogue, Woman's Weekly, and some kind of upmarket porn mag, I made what is possibly the most important discovery of my life. It was a magazine called 'Vision', which describes itself as "Spiritual, Paranormal and Holistic From Cover to Cover", and proves it by having headlines such as "Nana sat on my bed today - but she died yesterday!" and "Harry Potter - Is Harry fact or fable?" on the front. But spookily (or perhaps paranormally) it features Gillian McKeith as its covergirl for May. So naturally I stole it and brought it home. As well as being fateful, it meant I had a picture to stick on my dartboard.


But far and away my favourite section of the magazine is the two-page article on Kyle, a 17 year old medium (although judging by the pictures, he's more of an extra large) who apparently "offers readings, parties, workshops and stageshows and currently works only in the West of Scotland". So he obviously hasn't passed his driving test yet.
According to the caption below the main photo, 'Kyle can hear Spirit'.

What I won't do is mention

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