Honestly, I can't even have a game of crazy golf in this town without being bothered by celebrities. Lisa and I have just taken the five minute walk down to Madeira Drive for a round of putting at Peter Pan's Adventure Golf, where we spent an enjoyable half hour watching the group of teenagers in front of us successfully hit the ball from the tee, off the course, through the fence, across the road, and into oncoming traffic, before trying to persuade passers-by to throw it back to them. But whilst attempting to keep a safe distance from the girl who used the putter like a hockey stick, little did we know that coming up behind us at the twelfth hole was none other than Paul Adam! Yes, Paul Adam!

For those who don't know Paul from Adam, he's the former head of A&R at Polydor Records, who made up one third of the judging panel on the mother of all talent shows, Popstars. Here he is with Nasty Nigel, trying to decide whether to shoot Darius for his rendition of '...Baby One More Time'. A decision I'm sure they lived to regret.

Anyhoo, Paul was enjoying a game of crazy golf with his two kids (possibly as part of a divorce court order, who knows), after which they retired to the adjacent children's playground, where he forced an unrelated woman with a small child to budge up so that he could fit onto that bench. Even more shocking than that, however, is that he can clearly be seen still holding the green felt-tip pen loaned to him at the crazy golf, which he has blatantly failed to return. I therefore felt fully justified in invading his privacy, and that of his children, by taking the above photo. Which I shall be handing to the police when they knock on my door and charge me with being a paedophile after being spotted hiding behind those bins with a camera.