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Sunday, February 25, 2007

Liberate LuluIf there's one thing I like to do in life, weather permitting, it's to send off a job application on a Saturday morning, and then take a walk along the seafront twenty-four hours later and find my future place of work being barricaded by militant animal rights protesters. It's what they call job satisfaction. Today's demo consisted of a few people with long hair and even longer banners campaigning to 'LIBERATE LULU'. Apparently she's been kidnapped by a group of music-loving dolphins who are fed up with hearing 'Shout'.

Well ok, that's not strictly true. Lulu is actually a 26-stone Green Turtle who's been in captivity since the end of World War II (making her the first female prisoner of war), having been brought to Britain as a baby to star in a soap commercial. I'm not making this up. Although possibly the BBC are. Anyhoo, Brighton Animal Action, who are just back from a 'Save the Pigeons' demo in Trafalgar Square (seriously), feel that despite being cuddled by students, and doing all she can to help rescue her Greek cousins, Lulu's not native to these shores, and should therefore go back to where she came from. Unfortunately she came from a small tank at Blackpool Tower, so that's not going to help. I've spent a week in Blackpool, and I'm telling you now, it's no life for an animal.

But that's not going to stop Brighton Animal Action. They're committed activists hell-bent on fighting for justice for all God's creatures, who will stop at nothing to see Lulu liberated. Although after half an hour it started raining, so they went home.

Anyhoo, that wasn't actually my main reason for going out today. What I really went to see was this...

Word had reached me (via Lisa's sister, who was finding it hard to stop laughing) that our good buddy Steve, who's currently squatting in Lisa's bedroom, but is moving to Margate in March, is spending the intervening weeks in the window of Oxfam. Apparently he only popped in to buy a book, but having agreed to put on a red nose and say cheese in the name of charity, he unexpectedly found himself on public display.

I won't reveal which one he is, but suffice it to say, the only one in less of a Comic Relief mood is top row, second from the left.