My new glasses arrived yesterday. Well, they didn't so much arrive, as get taken away by the postman, thus forcing me to walk a mile into town to pick them up from the main sorting office. But the bottom line is I got my hands on them. And very nice they are too. When I saw the colour of the case, and then opened it to reveal a bright orange & lime green cleaning cloth, I did kinda wish I'd gone for the sunglasses, but that aside I'm very pleased with them. My only question is why the cloth says "CLEAN ME"? Surely it should say "USE ME TO CLEAN YOUR GLASSES". That's if it needs to say anything at all. Personally I knew pretty much how to use it without the need for printed instructions.

Anyhoo, despite the fact that my main motivation for buying new specs was so that I could look like Clark Kent whilst interviewing celebrities for The Argus - an eventuality which now seems unlikely since they told me to sod off via second class post on Saturday - I don't feel I've wasted my money, because I can still wear them to drive to Asda. And frankly I look so stylishly cool in them, you'd think Ted Baker had designed this pair with me in mind, and personally fashioned them out of the world's finest plastic. I look like Nicky Hambleton-Jones with alopecia. And less lipstick. It's the closest I've ever been to fashionable.

Obviously I could post a photo of me wearing these icons of style, but I'm trying to do a deal with OK! magazine for the exclusive rights, so I don't want to jump the gun. I do have an alternative photo though. It was taken on Saturday night after Lisa requested a picture of me with the one I love, to send to an online friend of hers. It being Valentine's week, I was happy to oblige, but having set up the self-timer and managed to capture this remarkable image in just one take, Lisa refused to accept it. I think we had our wires crossed, and it wasn't quite what she had in mind.