It's deeply touching, the unexpected gifts one gets from NHS colleagues at Christmas time. I received two today, both from receptionists at the hospital where I was working. The first was a delightful Christmas card featuring a picture of a polar bear...


And the second was a black & white photocopy of a topless fireman with a massive tool...


According to a highly scientific and statistically accurate poll conducted amongst reception and admin staff on the fourth floor of the hospital today, that bloke looks exactly like me. Although I rarely do clinics topless.

In reality, it's actually Mr February from the 2011 Gatwick Airport Fire Service calendar, which features a dozen semi-naked men with big hoses, posing for the pleasure (and date-keeping purposes) of women all over Sussex, in an effort to fan the flames of passion and raise money for the Motor Neurone Disease Association. You can buy one here. I flicked through it myself today, and I can heartily recommend the thing. It gives a whole new meaning to the phrase 'heavy breathing apparatus'.

Anyhoo, as a result of my new found fame as a male pin-up, I've spent most of the day calling patients while reception staff undress me with their eyes. Or maybe that was my imagination. At one point I headed into the waiting room to fetch a chair for an elderly patient who couldn't face the walk back, and the receptionist suggested I give her a fireman's carry instead. I responded by threatening to take my shirt off. And she quickly changed her mind.