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Saturday, March 26, 2011

Lisa went out with some friends last night, so I had the pleasure of spending an evening alone with my daughter. And take it from me, you know you're in for a good night when you're standing at the front door, waving goodbye to your wife, and Amelie comes running down the hallway behind you, crying, with no knickers on, shouting "I've got a dirty bum!". It was all downhill from there really. Particularly for Lisa. She was straight into the lift, and running for the bus stop.

To be honest, it was a bit of a challenging evening. I was half asleep at the end of a busy week, and the only way I could keep going was to distract Amelie with a carrot while I sucked the chocolate off her fingers of Fudge. At one point, I was lying on the sofa in a sugar-induced coma, while Amelie spelled out the letters on my 2004 NaNoWriMo t-shirt (which, surprisingly, still fits me), and I started rubbing my tired eyes with my hands.

Amelie immediately put her arm around me and said "Don't be upset, Daddy."

I replied "I'm not upset, darling, I'm just tired."

To which she responded "No you're not. Get up and play a game". At which point she tried to pull my arm out of its socket.

Fortunately, however, I had a secret weapon up the sleeve of my dislocated limb...

Fuzzy Felt
It's a felt fairy finger puppet kit. No, really.

Lisa and I bought that on our honeymoon in Eastbourne. It was reduced from £3.50 to 25p in Marks & Spencer, which is an indication of just how worthless they think it is. And having made it, I'm inclined to agree. But at the time, we felt it would be the perfect antidote to a troublesome toddler. It's for ages three and up, so there was every chance she'd choke on it.

I'd saved the kit for a rainy day, but frankly in my heart it was pissing down, so with Amelie's pyjama top stained red with the sweet peppers I'd been feeding her since I ate all the chocolate, we settled down for a bit of handicraft...

I discovered why the kit cost 25p about three seconds after I opened it. It turns out they don't give you any instructions. But let's face it, Amelie would have ignored them anyway. So we ploughed on regardless, and produced something quite stunning. Which fell apart the moment she put it on her finger.

But having restored it to its former glory with a bit of extra glue (which I told Amelie was Fairy Liquid), we ended up with this...

I believe in fairies.
What a beauty.


Phil's Mum said...

Well, she gave you the invitation to put her to bed and have a sleep yourself and you ignored it!  Is that fatherly devotion or just plain stupidity?  Anyway, congratulations to you both on the finished article!

Peter Chapman said...

Fairy Cakes would have been better.

Dave said...

I think your version (with the flower showing properly) looks better than the one on the packet.  That one looks as though her bottom was put on back to front, and is showing below her dress.

Or is that just me?

rosie said...

That is a true work of art. I'm sorry, I can't stop laughing. You may have already shaped your child's destiny.

jon the bassist said...

I would try and get your money back

Peter Chapman said...

Better still, do an exchange and get 2 and a half carrier bags.