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Sunday, March 13, 2011

If you want Chloe to sit still on your lap for an extended period of time, the key is to stroke her gently, read to her quietly, and above all, tightly restrict her airways so that she falls into an oxygen-deprived coma...


Obviously that's not the whole Gruffalo story. I don't want to spoil the ending for anyone who hasn't read it yet, but it basically involves terrible tusks, terrible claws and terrible teeth in terrible jaws, which, when combined with a toddler who won't let go when you tell her to, results in a certain amount of blood, sweat and tears. Not necessarily in that order.

Naturally I don't want to get caught in a pincer movement between the RSPCA and the NSPCC, so I cut the film short before anyone got hurt. The full version has an 18 certificate. And is more of a video nasty.

4 comments:

Phil's Mum said...

Up to that point it was very sweet.  Don't show me the rest - I don't watch horror films.

Lisa said...

And I don't think you're allowed to advertise Savlon.

Dave said...

I believe the technique you describe in your first sentence works with the ladies too.  Well, it does for me.

Jon the bassist said...

You and Am are like the Chas and Dave of the book reading world.