Since Amelie was born, I've had a range of hopes and dreams for her: blissful happiness, good health, the ability to stop arguing with everything I say and actually do as she's told for a change, but above all, freakish intelligence so that I can make money off her and give up work early. With the exception of chicken pox, the time I beat her up in Lidl, and our occasional refusal to give her a tenth biscuit, the first two have been successfully achieved. The third is a work in progress, and may well be worth abandoning as a lost cause, but the fourth is looking very promising.

There's definitely something about her which suggests dogged determination...


I think it's the hat. The girl's a bone fido genius.

Back on February 9th, I set the wheels of learning in motion by announcing my intention to have Amelie reading before the age of two-and-a-half, using nothing more than a laptop, a couple of crosswords and a green goose. I invested $4.99 in her success, so I've got a lot riding on this, but six weeks later, it looks like paying off big time. She's still closer to two years than three, but she's already onto four-syllable words...


Although technically 'Bininnoculars' has five syllables. Either way, she can read a sight chart better than most of my patients. And she knows that a lighthouse stands by the 'c'. I think I'll aim for Shakespeare by the time she turns three.