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Tuesday, February 28, 2012

The ArtistTwenty minutes into 'The Artist' yesterday afternoon, Lisa turned to me in the cinema and said "Are you enjoying this?"

I lied through my teeth and said "Yes."

To which she looked incredulous and said "Really?"

Suffice it to say that Richard Roeper and I are no longer friends.

I don't know what it is about the films that Lisa and I choose to see together, but I don't think we've both loved a movie since 'Juno'. And that came out four years ago. Admittedly we only get to the cinema about twice a year, but even so, it means we've sat through at least eight turkeys.

The Artist was beautifully made, well acted and very innovative, but it just wasn't our cup of tea. With hindsight, that should have been obvious. We both like films with sparkling dialogue and a witty script, so one with just eleven spoken words (twelve if you count 'woof') was never likely to win us over. But when everyone who sees it says it's great, and it's named as best film at the Oscars, Baftas and Golden Globes, we felt we had to give it a go. Unfortunately I can only conclude that the six thousand industry professionals who make up The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences don't know as much about films as I do.

I'm not saying it was a bad movie, but it bored me in the same way that The Bolshoi Ballet would bore me with a performance of Swan Lake. I like language and wordplay, not art and expression. There were also practical problems. At one point, George Valentin picks up a note from his wife, which prompted Lisa to lean across and ask me what it said. As I whispered back into her ear, "The film's got no words, and you can't read the handwriting. We really do have problems".

There were bits that I liked though. Jean Dujardin's moustache was excellent, and the intertitle which read 'BANG!' was very cleverly placed. I also liked the way that Lisa completely failed to get the ending of the film, when George speaks his only two words of dialogue, and had to have it explained to her over the closing credits. But other than that, it was disappointing. Next time I'll be insisting we see a film with both colour and sound.


Phil's Mum said...

Interesting that no-one has even managed to comment on that!

bs6 said...

Well tomorrow (today) I've got to go and see that 'Marigold Hotel' film.  All in the name of potentially love and marriage.  I never knew the road could be so rocky.  I might take my advice to Lisa and wear those coloured glasses.  What happened to films like Rear Window? 

Phil said...

Love definitely hurts. And you haven't even dated my sister.

bs6 said...

Yet.  How'd the other guy get on?  And avoid Marigold Hotel; I cried for two hours, from desperation, frustration and the smell of mothballs wafting off the other members of the audience.  Enjoy your new cat, I thought I'd had a premonition when I read your todays blog... until I later stumbled on the Lisa FB reference in the comments!  Shame, a premonition driven lottery win would have been handy right now.