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Tuesday, February 07, 2012

When Lisa became a good Catholic girl last November, the first aspect of Christian doctrine that she wanted to check with the priest was whether it's ok to lie to your children. I think she was worried she'd never be out of confession. But fortunately, having discussed it at length (the length being about two seconds), our heavenly Father confirmed that sure, what the heck, absolutely, it's fine. In fact it should be positively encouraged. Apparently you start with Noah's Ark, and by the time you get to Jonah and the Whale, they'll believe anything you say. I'm paraphrasing him there.

Anyhoo, it's a well known fact that I'm more honest than the average priest, but on occasion, even someone with my own level of personal virtue will fall victim to a small white lie. I'm not proud of this, but I've successfully convinced Amelie that Chloe can use a computer.

I was on the sofa after work last night, playing Kitten Sanctuary on the laptop with Amelie, when Lisa came in and said it was time for her to get ready for bed. We were near the end of a particularly tricky level, the aim of which was to rescue a poor kitten called Coffee from the clutches of the evil aliens, and we'd vowed not to stop until Coffee was full of beans, and safely back on the ground. But sometimes it's more important to put your pyjamas on. So despite Coffee's precarious state, Amelie trotted off into her bedroom to get changed.

Thirty seconds after she left, I successfully completed the level, and put the laptop down on the sofa. At which point Chloe wandered into the living room, jumped up next to me, and sat down in front of the laptop.

Now, I'm not sure exactly what came over me, but the actions of my cat triggered some kind of mischievous urge, and I casually got up, walked into Amelie's bedroom, and told her that Chloe was playing Kitten Sanctuary. I was expecting her to come and look, laugh, and then think nothing more of it. That wasn't quite what happened.

Suffice it to say that Chloe's ability to play Kitten Sanctuary is the biggest news to hit this family since the arrival of the Potty Fairy. Amelie took one look at the laptop, saw that the level had been completed, and immediately hailed Chloe as some kind of computer genius.

Admittedly, I may have fuelled that opinion slightly by telling her that Chloe knows a lot about rescuing kittens because she came from a cat shelter, but even taking that into consideration, Amelie's reaction has been astounding. Frankly she's talked about nothing else since. She's spent today telling anyone who'll listen, about Chloe's amazing ability to use a computer mouse, complete difficult levels, and rescue kittens like Coffee. Her first words to me when she woke up this morning were "Daddy, is Chloe still playing the kitten game?", after which she ran straight into the living room, expecting to see her pet with a paw on the mousepad. She's convinced we own the world's only I.T. cat.

To be honest, it's a shame we don't. Showers are all very well, but if I could film her programming a computer, we could really make our fortune.


Phil's Mum said...

And to think Chloe was at death's door 10 days ago.  She's been resurrected AND done a crash course in computers - though I think you could at least have taken a photo of her playing the kitten game, to pass on to the media.  Still, Am can probably persuade them its true.