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Sunday, April 29, 2012

Eight days old, and one of the kittens has its eyes open...

It also has pink ears and a yellow tail. To be honest, I'm wondering if it might be adopted. But surely no one would choose a child that ginger?

As it happens, the cuckoo in the nest is actually a toy mouse, which was placed there this morning by Amelie, who thought that Shimmy might want to play with it. I did explain to her that once you have kids, leisure time is effectively a thing of the past, and even if you do get a spare five minutes to yourself, you're far too knackered to play, but she insisted on leaving it there, just in case. I've taken it out twice, and she keeps putting it back. She'll be attaching it to a nipple if we're not careful.

Much like Shimmy, Lisa and I have always been advocates of equal parenting, so we decided to split the childcare straight down the middle yesterday evening: I took Amelie to Asda for the weekly shop, and Lisa took the baby on a hen night. So while my wife and son were savouring the sea bass at a fancy restaurant in Hove, I was dragging Amelie towards the Smart Price fish fingers. It's an arrangement which works for us. Although why Lisa chose the fish when she was on a hen night, I have no idea. She really should have gone with the chicken.

Anyhoo, having arrived home ten minutes before Am's bedtime, with enough shopping to feed a small African village, it was another hour before I sat down to write yesterday's blog post. But when I did, I had no idea how insightful it would be. Unbeknownst to me, as I was writing that line about Lisa bouncing down the hall like a beach ball, she was actually falling over on a bus.

Admittedly, Lisa's never been too steady on her pins, and an average week for her features more pratfalls than a Laurel & Hardy film, so it wasn't just a wild stab in the dark, but even so, my words were strangely prophetic. Apparently when she got on the bus to Hove last night, the floor was wet, and as she walked past the driver, she slipped straight over and landed on her back. So at least the baby didn't feel it.

Shockingly, however, despite it happening in plain sight on an almost empty bus, the bus driver just carried on regardless, leaving a heavily pregnant lady rolling around on the floor of a moving vehicle. He then highlighted the inherent sweetness of his nature by honking his horn at a passing car and shouting "F**k it!"

But in this case, the victim of his actions wasn't just a heavily pregnant lady. It was a heavily pregnant lady with a pen. Lisa wrote down the registration number when she got off the bus, so if you're reading this, Brighton & Hove Bus Company, there's a letter on its way.


Phil's Mum said...

I should think so too.  That's disgusting.  Go for it, Lisa - you might get a year's free bus rides.  (Though you may never want to get on a bus again, so perhaps a car would be more useful!)

A Passer-by said...

Lots of adverts on TV begin "have you had an accident and it wasn't your fault?   You could get the compensation you deserve..."

Anyway, I hope you have recovered from your fall.