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Monday, August 06, 2012

If you're going to have a Michael Jackson moment on a balcony, it's important to get both your children holding their hands to their heads in horror...


It makes for a better photo in the papers. The cardboard medal is optional, but adds a certain irony to the baby-dangling. And the day-glo shirt's for visibility.

Anyhoo, if you think I look tired, old and fat in that photo, it's partly a trick of the light, but mainly the result of a busy Sunday with the kids. Having got me up at the crack of dawn to soak up the Olympic spirit, Amelie asked me to make her a medal saying 'Best Holder of Toby'. She's never been one for modesty.

She followed that up by dictating a personal mission statement which she asked me to put on a rosette. Clearly it spelt trouble. No sooner did she have it stuck to her leg with double-sided sticky tape, than she was asking if we could take Toby out in the buggy.

We've still got the same buggy we had for Amelie, but since the age of twelve months she's insisted on walking everywhere, and refused to get in it, so it's been stuck in the cupboard for three years. Yesterday, however, it came out again for Toby's first every buggy ride.

For such a momentous occasion, you need a very special destination. So I decided to take him to Lidl. I wanted to show him where I hurt his sister's arm. It serves as a warning against future bad behaviour. So while Lisa went back to bed, I headed down the hill with Toby in the buggy, and Amelie doing her best to push him whilst wearing a cardboard medal and a union flag hat.

Fortunately we made it back in one piece, and were soon welcoming a VIP guest to the flat...


We rarely get visitors who aren't qualified midwives or postmen, but yesterday we had Big Sis dropping by for a cuddle. With Toby, not me. She couldn't sit down as we were too tired to clear the sofa, but she seemed quite happy to stand.

Sis could only stay for an hour or so, but she was able to fill us in on her career developments, love life and international travel plans. She's hoping to visit Africa in the autumn with a man from Zimbabwe who's offered to act as her tour guide to Namibia. Which is a bit like me showing you around France. I expect he needs her help to get ten billion dollars of the king's money out of the country. I've told her to pass on my bank details.

Anyhoo, it was good to see Big Sis, but even better to see my lovely wife looking so well...


She's still got the bruises from her fight on the labour ward, but she looks pretty happy.

5 comments:

A Passer-by said...

I was expecting to see Lisa all black & blue!   But it's just black and white!!

Peter Chapman said...

This blog post doesn't have enough cleavage pictures for my liking.

Phil said...

I'll get out my man boobs next time.

Phil said...

The colour version's on Toby-Gardner.com if you've got the stomach for it.

Peter Chapman said...

 Even Stevie Wonder saw that reply coming :)