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Wednesday, August 22, 2012

I'm thinking of hiring out Toby for Persil commercials...

He's like his father: whiter than white, but with a look of deep concentration which belies the fact that his mind's generally blank. To be honest, Lisa's already getting worried about his expressions. He spends all his time looking either shocked and stunned, or seriously worried. It's as though he can't believe the situation he's found himself in, and it troubles him greatly. Every time we talk to the boy, he looks back at us with the kind of incredulous expression which says "How on earth did I end up with this family?". He clearly feels he could have done better.

So I don't think he'll be staying with us past sixteen, which is probably good news for our sanity. But while he's still here, I'm doing my best to stop the flat looking like he's taking part in the new series of The Hoarder Next Door. One of our neighbours is having some building work done, which doesn't make it easy to sleep during the day, but despite the industrial strength drilling, I did manage to sleep for an hour or so yesterday morning. I think the vibrating walls helped me drop off.

I awoke just in time to take Amelie to nursery (unshaven and in the previous day's clothes) (me, not her), and returned home with a new determination to clear up. I spent the rest of the day tidying, hoovering, cleaning, and sweeping up glitter. Toby has been sparkling for the past week, since Amelie had a craft session and unwittingly decorated her brother, and despite having had three baths in six days, his hair still glints in the sunshine. He's the campest baby in Brighton.

Unfortunately he's not the only thing covered in glitter. The dining table's like a giant mirror ball, Chloe's doing an impression of Ziggy Stardust, and the living room wall's been completely re-papered...

The one in the top left is my favourite, but I'm still not sure if I've hung it upside down. The bottom left features a seagull feather. And probably numerous diseases.

But obviously all work and no play makes Phil a dull boy, so having done nothing but housework and art facilitation for the past twenty-four hours, I'm taking Lisa out this afternoon. We're going to the doctor's surgery to register Toby with a GP. And then ask for shampoo on prescription. We need something stronger for that glitter.


Zed said...

I think he might be off as soon as he can toddle!

Ronan as a baby found me seriously lacking.  Fortunately, he adored his elder brother and sister and quite liked his father, so I accepted my role as the useful one and it all got better after the first year or so.

Phil's Mum said...

It'll be fun when they're both doing artwork, won't it?