It's Amelie with the world's most expensive karaoke machine!


I'm sensing she didn't quite know all the words, but what she lacked in lyrics, she more than made up for with movement. That girl could dance to the speaking clock. Or, as she proved today, the Last Post.

The white rat leaving the sinking ship after two and a half minutes was actually Chloe with a new haircut. I like to trim her fur when the weather gets cold, just to keep her on her toes for the winter, and make survival more of a challenge.

I filmed that video this morning, shortly before Amelie left for church to remember the fallen. She paused at 11am to think of Lisa walking down the hill from the bus stop. As for Toby, he stayed at home with me, and spent the two minutes silence screaming his head off on the sofa. I thought it showed a certain lack of respect, until I presented him with some defrosted breast milk and he threw it up on my shirt.

Toby and I walked into Kemp Town to meet the girls after church (although he found it less tiring than I did), and having encouraged Amelie back up the hill using the persuasive powers of a chocolate chip cookie, we had lunch, and then dropped the girl at Lisa's Mum's so that we could do some Christmas shopping. Yes, Amelie might have the world's most expensive karaoke machine, but she's on the verge of getting Britain's cheapest bike...

We discovered that pink pedal-powered Hello Kitty speed machine on eBay just over a week ago with a starting bid of 99p. It was 'collection only', but by a stroke of good fortune, the seller lived in Worthing. Lisa and I spent a long time discussing just how high we should bid, but in the end it was academic. We got it for £7.39.

So while Amelie was enjoying an afternoon of blissful ignorance with her Nanny, the rest of us were in Worthing, handing over some loose change to a burly bloke with a bicycle. It could do with a bit of spit and polish, but other than that, it's the best seven quid we've ever spent. At least it was, until I got it home and managed to snap off the plastic seat at the back. Which is a shame as that's where Toby goes.

I'll have a go at fixing it next weekend, but for now it's wrapped in black sacks and hidden out on the balcony. What are the chances of Amelie not spotting it before Christmas..?