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Tuesday, December 11, 2012

I was in Asda on Saturday night during the X Factor final, which was a bit like shopping after the apocalypse, and made me feel like the last human alive. Apart from the girl on the checkout. With whom I was reluctant to rebuild the human race. So ignoring the only other person in the shop, I chose instead to pick up a pack of Asda 'Chicken Breast Fillets with a Delicious Blend of Bengali Spices', which was reduced to a pittance due to being dangerously close to expiry.

Fortunately I like living dangerously, and I'm always hopeful of kick-starting some serious weight loss with a nice bout of food poisoning, so I left it until Monday to eat them. Interestingly, however, when I got them out of the fridge last night, and gave them the once over for signs of mould, I noticed this IMPORTANT announcement on the packet...


To be honest, I'm reluctant to try anything that involves me exposing my breasts to the air to get rid of the stench. And I don't care how normal it is, any food which feels it has to warn me about its smell to ensure that I don't chuck it straight in the bin, is not likely to get me salivating.

But when I'm hungry I'll eat anything. And they actually tasted ok. I can't comment on the smell, as my nose is still blocked up.

The good news, however, is that home cooking will soon be a thing of the past. Yesterday's All-Staff Info-Mail at work contained the fantastic revelation that in February or March of next year, a branch of Subway will be opening on the hospital site. It'll be located next to Amelie's poster, which is only a three minute walk from our flat. So firstly I'll be seeing a lot more of my daughter, and secondly I can pick up dinner on my way home. It's just a shame I'll be too fat to walk.

17 comments:

Peter Chapman said...

I kept refreshing your blog to see the newest entry. Help me.

Phil's Mum said...

Is it the latest way for NHS to save money - stop serving food to the patients and encourage them to get out of bed and go and buy their own?

Phil said...

I think you're beyond help, Chappers.

Phil said...

Judging by the standard of fare served to Lisa when she was in there having my children, the patients don't need any incentive to buy their own food.

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