I had a patient this afternoon who was two weeks short of his eightieth birthday, and arrived at the clinic on a mobility scooter, wearing a hearing aid, a flat cap and exactly the same coat as me. Not this coat, but this one. It's from the Marks & Spencer Collezione range, and like a lot of my clothes, clearly appeals to the very elderly. Mine came from a charity shop, so I've always assumed it was an unwanted gift, but now the truth is beginning to dawn: the previous owner must have died of old age.

Fortunately my children have no idea that I dress like a pensioner. To them, I'm just a big tosser...


I'd like to state for the record that it was a chocolate pancake, and therefore nowhere near as burnt as it looked. I was also slightly put off by my front-of-house staff who, whilst enthusiastic to a fault, lacked the class and finesse required to earn this place a Michelin star, and basically left me to do all the work. Frankly that girl was flipping useless. I might have to give up pancakes for Lent.