The big breaking news from around here is that according to both Lisa and Amelie, Toby spoke his first word yesterday. Apparently, while I was out fulfilling the traditional hunter-gatherer role by eating chocolates at the NHS's expense, Toby said "Dada". I don't think he knows who I am, but he does like a bit of avant-garde art. I'm trying to teach him to say 'Cubism'.

In the meantime, anyone concerned by my intermittent blogging this week will be pleased to know that there is an explanation. Back in August last year when I was on paternity leave, I took some additional leave of my senses, and signed up for a Clinical Problem Solving course on Coursera. Lisa's always wanted a house, and I thought this might be a step in the right direction. It was due to start in January, and despite being sleep-deprived and exhausted when I signed up, I knew that by the new year I'd be relaxed, well-rested and have time on my hands.

The start of the course was delayed (probably due to undiagnosed illness), but it finally got underway on Monday of this week, with the first assignment due tomorrow. Unfortunately that's not the reason I haven't blogged. To be honest, I've just spent too much time on Cat-Bounce.com. I haven't even watched the first lecture. Much as I'd love to solve my own hypochondria in six weeks, by the evening I'm generally far too knackered to be bothered. Which is a shame, because if I did the course, I'd probably find out why.

As for Thursday evening, I successfully romanced Lisa with a love-gift of pizza. She'd given me this delightful (if surprisingly small) card...

... so I decided to sweep her off her feet by making her too fat to leave the sofa. We'd both eaten out at lunchtime, so it seemed only right to eat in that night by ordering a pizza. And making ourselves sick. By the end of the evening, I was so full, I could barely eat the expensive Montezuma's chocolate that Lisa had bought me. But I felt it would be rude not to.

As for my lunch date, that went well, although having covered a number of weighty topics such as local politics, police commissioning and the benefits system, my dining companion mentioned in passing that my voice sounds like Alan Carr. I nearly choked on my horse lasagne. As I said to him at the time, I sound a lot more like Charlton Heston, and I'll shoot anyone who disagrees.