I have to say, the quality of source texts for English Assignments seems to have gone downhill lately.

But that aside, it's polling day here in Brighton, and I've just been down to the St George's Church Crypt to exercise my democratic right. Which is the most exercise I've had all week. I don't have many tales from the crypt, but the woman on the desk did manage to tell me to vote for two candidates, before being hastily corrected by her colleague. Considering her one and only job was to stand there and tell everyone they've got three votes, you have to admire her ability to get it wrong.

But despite that, and the fact that the woman guarding the ballot box looked like a gorilla, only less friendly, I managed to cast my trio of votes. I was tempted to vote for David Van Day on the grounds that life with him leading the council would be consistently entertaining, and worth the price of the council tax alone, but in the end I couldn't quite bring myself to do it. So I kept the red flag flying with Mitchell, Morgan & Turton. Who sound like a firm of solicitors.

As it happens, George Osborne, the Tory shadow Chancellor, was down here yesterday looking a bit like Max Bygraves doing 'Big Money' on Family Fortunes. I thought for a moment he was here to throw his support behind David Van Day, but even the shadow cabinet have to draw the line somewhere, so instead he claimed that Brighton "should be gleaming more than it has done under this Labour council", pledged to paint some railings on the seafront, then went home. Possibly to find his tie.

None of which was quite enough to persuade me to change my vote. With the initials GM, Gill Mitchell could never have stood for the Green Party, but according to the Labour election leaflet I received last week, she works "part-time at the local hospital". Not only that, but she is, apparently, "keen to do more". Possibly even work full-time.

Having just spent the entire afternoon completing my own application for a job at the hospital, a bit of inside influence could come in handy right about now. And having voted Labour not once, but three times today, Gill owes me big. So if I don't get an interview this time around, it's straight back to the Lib Dems.