I swear this is genuine...


Yes, Brighton Jobcentre are no longer interested in sandwich makers. They're now looking for Sandwich Artists who are keen to spend 45 hours a week learning the art of great sandwich making. Unfortunately I'm not sure I have the positive outlook required to butter bread for a living, and besides, I see myself as more of a bagel sculptor than a sandwich artist, so I've decided to look elsewhere.

I'm currently waiting to be turned down by the hospital for a fourth time, but in the meantime I've decided to apply for the post of Information Officer with the council's museums department. It basically involves wandering around the Royal Pavilion in a silly hat, talking to small children about gout. They actually have four vacancies at the moment, so it'll be just like all my other applications, but with quadruple the disappointment when I don't get it.

In other news, I'm currently labouring under the weight of a thousand luvvies. No, really. My blog visitors have more than doubled in the last forty-eight hours thanks to a stranger posting the link to Sunday's blog post in the comments section of The Stage website. Since when I've been inundated with theatrical luminaries keen to look at my moustache. The original comment is here, but personally I'm more concerned about Debbie two comments later who accuses me of being gay. She must think Lisa's my fag hag (I can't believe that term has its own Wikipedia page).

But on the subject of homosexual hair, I can now announce that due to overwhelming public demand (from one person), I've posted yesterday's moustache film on YouTube. You can view that here. And for the benefit of my mother, who's desperate to see Floors & Walls' music video filmed in the multi-storey car park down at the marina, but who couldn't get last week's link to work, it turns out that's on YouTube too. She'll be rapping along in no time.

Incidentally, if anyone's wondering why I haven't yet taken a razor to my top lip and moulded myself into Hitler, it's because I've decided to leave my moustache as it is until the end of the week while I do a tour of some of the people who sponsored me. They all want to get their money's worth by laughing at me in person.

Anyhoo, while I'm here, I should just mention 'Flight of the Conchords' on BBC4 tonight at 9:30pm, a comedy series featuring New Zealand's fourth most popular folk parody duo. It started last week, and I missed it thanks to a combination of poor digital reception and a mind like a sieve, but I fully intend to watch it tonight (subject to both of the conditions above). Why? Well, because erstwhile blog commenter and close friend of Howard Jones (I've still got the photo) Captain Fargon, who never manages to post anything on his blog, but still finds time to e-mail me (he has a lot in common with Lisa), claims to know some of the cast (probably minor extras), as well as the talented web developers behind FlightOfTheConchords.com, the web's number one resource for comedy folk music from Middle Earth.

So watch the show. It's apparently very good. Or as the Captain said to me last week, "The first 3 or 4 episodes are a bit ropey, but it gets better". I probably shouldn't mention that.