They think it's all over. It is now...


              Hair                                Herr                         Hare-Brained

To be honest, I never really felt comfortable as Hitler. Lisa looks a lot like Eva Braun, and I love small furry animals, so once I had the moustache I felt an overwhelming desire to invade Poland. Or at least Flat 1, which is where most of them live. I had to shave it off within half an hour, otherwise I'd have been straight in there, telling them to turn down their music.

Anyhoo, I feel strangely naked now, but at least I can brush my teeth without having to spend ten minutes trying to get toothpaste out of my moustache.

My last act as a hairy person was to wander amongst my own kind at Brightona 2007, a bikers' convention down at Madeira Drive yesterday, which was entirely different to the one four weeks ago. This one had an 'a' on the end of Brighton. I'm sure it was pant-wettingly exciting if you love motorbikes, but if like me you prefer to walk everywhere (except when you're driving a graffiti-covered Skoda) it's a fairly dull event. Although the first band on, Sweet Redemption, performed a song called 'My Sickened Mouth', which is the kind of title which makes you want to visit their MySpace site.

Personally I was only using Brightona as a petrol-scented route to get to the Dome. Having looked up most of the acts taking part in the Comedy Festival, I soon found that all the ones I wanted to see are sold out, which makes me think I shouldn't have waited until it started before trying to book tickets. I did discover, however, that tonight and tomorrow they're filming Comedy Blue for the Paramount Comedy Channel, and, wait for it, tickets are free. Naturally I assumed that with a lot of shows sold out, the chances of there still being tickets left for a free one the next day were on the slim side of zero, but I needed the exercise, so I walked along to the Dome box office and...


Yes, if you want to pay £12 to see Jason Byrne on Saturday, the show's almost sold out, but if you'd rather see him tonight for free, and have a chance of getting on TV, tickets are still available.

The only drawback is that it's oversubscribed in order to ensure a full house, meaning that ownership of a ticket doesn't actually guarantee you entry, and it's strictly first come, first seated. As the man in the box office told me, "Make sure you get here early". So the tickets may be free, but I'm not sure I can afford to take Lisa.