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Tuesday, October 16, 2007

It's another comedy job advert courtesy of Brighton Jobcentre Plus...

Driving Me Quackers
I presume it's the British equivalent of doing a cattle drive across the mid-west. A bit like City Slickers, but instead of herding cows from New Mexico to Colorado, you drive ducks from Brighton to... um... Bath. It's obviously only temporary because birds fly south for the winter, so there'll be nothing left to drive by the end of November.

But as an alternative, Brighton & Hove City Council are currently advertising for an 'Assistant Intelligence Officer', and state that:

"Experience of working in a fraud related environment is an essential requirement."

I told them I've been going out with Lisa for three years, and they said that would do. If anyone can sweet-talk their way through the front door and spend all your money, she can.

But in other, far more important, news, the PotsSecret phenomenon is officially taking hold, and I should have a book out by Christmas. Having only intended it to be a one-day exercise in time-wasting, I've since been flooded (well, slightly dampened) with e-mails from secretive artists desperate to share their innermost feelings via the medium of ceramics. Unfortunately most of them don't have access to a kiln, and as one of them put it, "I was hoping there was something I could just click on and then write a secret". Honestly, Mrs G of Chelmsford, haven't you ever heard of suffering for your art? Have all those years of watching The Generation Game been for nothing? You need to get out that potter's wheel and start peddling.

Not that a lack of technical know-how seems to have put off the mysterious L from Brighton. She sent me her secrets anyway and told me to put them on a pot myself. I'm not sure people are fully grasping this concept.

But fortunately I have received one fully-formed piece of art. I don't know who it's from, but the author states "I just can't be bothered to blog". So frankly it could be half the people I've ever linked to.