I was walking through Hove this afternoon, admiring the view, when who should hove into that view (of Hove) but Pat Butcher's former love interest, Christopher Ellison. I've seen him once before on the streets of Brighton, when I bumped into him outside the police station last year, a meeting which was particularly ironic as he used to play DCI Burnside in The Bill, and I look like a criminal.

This time, however, he was standing outside a restaurant on the corner of Wilbury Road, looking like he was waiting for someone, and wearing his trademark grumpy expression, possibly to make sure he was recognised. I gave him a friendly, yet optimistic, glance which said "I never watch The Bill or EastEnders, but I'd be willing to let you buy me lunch", but sadly he failed to respond. It's not always easy to read my facial expressions.

The interesting thing though, was the location. As mentioned here before, Wilbury Road is where Freemasons go to die, so it's possible Chris is a Worshipful Master at the local Lodge and was feeling a little peeky, but personally I'm more interested in who he might have been meeting. Dusty Springfield (which is what you'd get if Marge Simpson stopped cleaning) used to have a house in Wilbury Road, but these days the street is home to Steve Coogan. I know that, because heroin addicts go there to urinate.

Obviously I could be reading far too much into what may have been no more than a local resident having lunch, but when a new series of Alan Partridge is announced, co-starring Chris Ellison as the Director General of the BBC, remember, you heard it here first.