It's Mother's Day! So I'd like to take this opportunity to send my love and appreciation to my Mum. Over the past year she has, in many ways, been like a mother to me. And a full-time carer. To be honest, I'm bordering on special needs. So thanks, Mum. Oh, and can I have my books back please?

Anyhoo, to celebrate this special day, Lisa and I are heading over to Hove greyhound track for a bit of Afghan racing. My Mum's not coming, but she lives in Essex, so in a sense she's already gone to the dogs. My intention is to write about hairy hounds for The Argus, before heading west again tonight to cover a bit of local history for The Kemptown Rag. So it would help if I'd actually had some sleep last night, instead of watching trash TV with Lisa until the early hours.

As it happens, the latest edition of the Rag arrived yesterday. I didn't write anything for this issue, so sales are probably up, but on the downside it means I can't take any credit for the front page scoop: an article about "the Royal East Sussex Hospital". Which is in Hastings. They actually mean the Royal Sussex County Hospital. And to think people call my articles ill-informed. But I can forgive them that because the Ragamuffins on the news desk have made my day by beginning their report with a bit of editorial gold. Yes, emblazoned across the front page in bold print is possibly the most fantastic sentence ever constructed...


I love that. It's got more sub-clauses than a Father Christmas convention. And they even misspell the punchline. Marvellous.