As if her own coat isn't thick enough, without stealing mine too.

Frankly I'm lucky she's not throwing up all over it. She hasn't been very well just lately, but the good news is that I think I've diagnosed the problem. It seems to be a little known, yet serious, condition which causes her to projectile vomit across my living room carpet until I stop giving her Lidl cat food, and start buying Iams at three times the price. The sad thing is she's been quite happy with cheap foreign food for the past eighteen months, but Mr Lidl appears to have changed his recipe (possibly going from mouse to rat), and I now have to spend my lunch hour scraping it off the floor. I wouldn't mind, but it's costing me a fortune in carpet cleaner.

Anyhoo, having tried Whiskas with no improvement, I've moved from Lidl Opticat at £1.99 to Iams Senior at £5.88, and wouldn't you just know it, she's fine. That cat knows quality when she tastes it. She probably thinks that by throwing up everywhere and costing me a fortune, she's preparing me for the baby.

But vomit aside, I'm off out tonight. I have two tickets to hear Dave Gorman read aloud from his new book, 'America Unchained'. Obviously I haven't read it, but I have seen the film. Unfortunately I bought the tickets in February, before I knew that I'd be working the kind of hours which would mean I don't get home until 5:45pm. Dave starts reading at 6:30pm. Meaning I have 45 minutes to eat my tea, get ready, pick up Lisa from visiting time at her Mum's, and drive over to darkest Hove at rush hour on a Friday.

But if we make it there before the epilogue, it should be very good. Dave Gorman co-wrote the Mrs Merton Show, so there's bound to be some audience participation. And the best thing is, I won't be the only one writing about it the next day on my blog. We should be able to get his side of the story too. I wonder if he'll mention me as much as I mention him..?