As it turned out though, the shorts (which are now in a drawer, tucked away from the rain which arrived within hours of me buying them) were more of a bargain than I thought, because little did I know that they included a lovely free gift. I always search the pockets of my secondhand clothes in the hope of finding a few fifty pound notes, but sadly the only folding stuff I've ever found is a used tissue. This time, however, I received something far more interesting. Having got the shorts home, I reached into the pocket and found...
... a pair of ladies knickers. Used. I've never been in such a hurry to wash my hands. I was so shocked, I was going to keep them to show Lisa, but she was out at the time, and I was a bit concerned that if she got back and saw a pair of knickers on the table, she might run amok with a frying pan before I had time to explain.
So I chucked them in the bin. Which was a bit stupid really. I should have donated them back to Marie Curie. They looked just her size.
![What to Expect. (Sleepless nights for a start).](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlmV7N0MwryLhICrWeBHT2zhAOadCUrdrJf08WkDgBrXkPPXO0bZUvS9MGnDnT0ExN-N2TH9f402zPYD8wCJQhVNKbjqD0a0JCZHPKwIeMEp2pkGaZJQlTUEesEn0HOgWkm6w3fw/s200/what+to+expect.jpg)
The second book's a lot thicker than the first, which is not surprising - a year's 33% longer than 9 months, and you have more time to read when the baby keeps you up all night.
In a spooky coincidence though, my new book also contained a free gift. Inside the front cover was this post-it note:
![Hey Jude!](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizITwJ2XG7e6K3cIJf6TMRc76ixxivkPgM1o23ej1cv0-lHVdj3_Ry4-hFpaNo_dOGtDrwOxa4YYLCfXFCU6RpJyOd60ySaxeCZn5M9cPEiyC0R7QtOJasQ_YkOvFJdNU9yiThSw/s320/jack+and+jude.jpg)
I bet Jude's thrilled to know that instead of returning the book as promised, Jack dumped it down at the local charity shop. As we speak, Jude's probably wrestling with a nine-month-old (if it was born last July) and making a right pig's ear of it. Personally I'm just glad Jack didn't use his pants as a bookmark.
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