As it turned out though, the shorts (which are now in a drawer, tucked away from the rain which arrived within hours of me buying them) were more of a bargain than I thought, because little did I know that they included a lovely free gift. I always search the pockets of my secondhand clothes in the hope of finding a few fifty pound notes, but sadly the only folding stuff I've ever found is a used tissue. This time, however, I received something far more interesting. Having got the shorts home, I reached into the pocket and found...
... a pair of ladies knickers. Used. I've never been in such a hurry to wash my hands. I was so shocked, I was going to keep them to show Lisa, but she was out at the time, and I was a bit concerned that if she got back and saw a pair of knickers on the table, she might run amok with a frying pan before I had time to explain.
So I chucked them in the bin. Which was a bit stupid really. I should have donated them back to Marie Curie. They looked just her size.
Anyhoo, those shorts weren't the only thing I bought. I also splashed out 75p on 'What To Expect The First Year'. It's the follow-up to 'What To Expect When You're Expecting', a book given to us by Lisa's sister on February 1st. Which is interesting because we didn't find out Lisa was pregnant until February 2nd. They say women can sense these things.The second book's a lot thicker than the first, which is not surprising - a year's 33% longer than 9 months, and you have more time to read when the baby keeps you up all night.
In a spooky coincidence though, my new book also contained a free gift. Inside the front cover was this post-it note:
I bet Jude's thrilled to know that instead of returning the book as promised, Jack dumped it down at the local charity shop. As we speak, Jude's probably wrestling with a nine-month-old (if it was born last July) and making a right pig's ear of it. Personally I'm just glad Jack didn't use his pants as a bookmark.
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