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Saturday, September 06, 2008

Well the good news is I've thoroughly cleaned the Moses basket, bought a new mattress, and set it all up in the bedroom, where Lisa's now finding it very useful for keeping clothes in. We're actually struggling at the moment to keep our heads above the waterline of a tide of baby stuff which has been sweeping through the flat since Thursday night when I visited Sainsbury's, discovered they're currently offering a third off all baby products, and decided to buy up half the shop. Frankly I'm hoping our daughter's incontinent, because I think we have enough nappies to last her til she's 18.

The past forty-eight hours have been spent trying to find room for it all, but at 10am this morning I took a break from filling a bin bag with Lisa's possessions, and popped down to Asda for a bit of retail therapy. I've been in sole charge of grocery acquisition for the past six weeks, since Lisa became too pregnant to reach the handles of a shopping trolley, and overall it's been a good thing. I can do the entire weekly shop in the same amount of time she'd spend browsing the crisp aisle, and be home before she finishes her relaxation exercises.

Unless, of course, I meet a woman at the checkouts and decide to go back to her place. It happens more often than you might think. Well, it happened this morning. I was just emerging from the frozen food section at Asda with two of Lisa's regular requests - a WeightWatchers ready meal and a box of Soleros - when who should I see loading freshly baked cookies onto the conveyor belt, but the pharmacy stores supervisor, and the only woman ever to push me at high speed towards a walk-in fridge on a gas-powered swivel chair. That was one day I won't forget.

Naturally she can't afford a car on an NHS salary, so I did the decent thing and offered her a lift home. I thought it might be good for my career. She in turn offered me a cup of tea and a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to meet her husband. Naturally I accepted. Although I would have preferred a cookie.

Anyway, her husband turned out to be lovely, and he and I got on famously. His first words to me were "How on earth do you cope, working with that every day?". It's shocking the lack of respect some people have for their partners. I was quite taken aback. But I told him it's a doddle. Let's face it, after living with Lisa, mad women hold no fear for me.