I went to a Grand Round yesterday. No, really. It might sound like an expensive night out at the pub, but it was actually a meeting of minds at the Sussex Eye Hospital. I spent an hour sitting in the mess room with nine eye surgeons, consultants and registrars discussing a number of interesting patients using a lot of long words. To be honest, none of them came out of my mouth, but I did do a lot of thoughtful nodding to avoid letting on that I didn't know what they were talking about. I was there as the guest of a senior ophthalmologist, so I wondered if it was the intellectual equivalent of a pig party, where the aim is to see who can bring the ugliest date. I have no other idea why I was invited.

But despite making a contribution of slightly less than zero, I have to say I loved it. There's something hugely exhilarating about watching the minds of some of the country's most brilliant eye doctors at work. It was like an episode of QI with a panel made up of four clones of Stephen Fry. I may not have understood 90% of what was being said, but it was awe-inspiring to listen to, and fascinating from start to finish. It was the mental equivalent of watching Usain Bolt run the hundred metres.

So with advanced medical information ringing in my ears, I went straight from work to the nearest chemist to pick up my new prescription. I've now started on the Ofloxacin, so according to the patient information leaflet, here are some of the side-effects I can look forward to...


I love the way they slip in 'death' between sugar levels and skin problems.