It's taken almost three months, but I've finally found out why I was given this job. It turns out that we have a patient on our books with serious anger management issues, who has been barred from four different GP's surgeries, and who phones us up every year and demands an appointment with a man. Presumably because they give him more of a challenge in a fist fight. Unfortunately, that's never been possible. Mainly because all the screeners are women, and most refuse to wear a false beard in the line of duty. It's no wonder he's so angry. According to our senior administrator this afternoon, one of my female colleagues "came to blows" with the man last year. I hope she was talking figuratively.

But the good news is that having fought for his rights (quite literally) since 2006, the chap will finally get his wish this year. The rotas for October have been drawn up today, and with much excitement and relief on the part of my workmates, a plan hatched on the day of my interview has finally been put into practice, and he's been assigned to one of my clinics. I wouldn't mind, but I already have to deal with murderous colleagues. I don't know where I'm more at risk: the consulting room or the staff room.

But fortunately the ability to tame wild animals is in the Gardner blood...


Lisa says that Amelie really looks like me in that photo. I think it's the fearless expression. That and the double chin.