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Tuesday, October 13, 2009

If you're going to carry out a daring raid on the bathroom, make sure you go in disguise...

We're still studying that CCTV footage in an attempt to identify the person responsible for tipping that bucket of washing all over the floor.

Now that Amelie's reached the grand old age of one, she's getting a home inspection from the health visitor tomorrow afternoon. I think it's primarily to check that we're looking after her, and not standing back while she grabs bottles of bleach from the bathroom. Which is why the disguise is such a good idea. I'd like to see that evidence stand up in court.

Lisa's hoovered and dusted, and we gave Amelie a bath an hour ago. That was shortly before she dressed up as a rabbit and stuck her hand down the toilet. But fortunately germs no longer hold any fear for me. I was given an alcohol miniature at work today, and it's done wonders for my self-confidence. No, really. It's actually a small bottle of sanitising hand gel which clips to my belt for use in medical emergencies. Or when an unsavoury patient insists on shaking my hand. I might attach it to Amelie's changing mat.

On the downside, now that we've cleaned Am's face, the bruise above her eye where she headbutted my Dad's music stand on Saturday seems a lot more noticeable. And when you combine that with her morbid obesity, and the fact that Lisa's cut off the circulation to her feet by forcing them into shoes which are patently too small, I think we could be less than twenty-four hours from foster care. At least that's what we're hoping.