Subscribe: Subscribe to me on YouTube

Thursday, June 17, 2010

It's always good to start the day by being subjected to a torrent of verbal abuse. But today it didn't come from Lisa. I was actually sitting in my car outside my flat at 8am this morning, signalling right, and watching the traffic crawl past at 10mph as I waited for some kind soul to let me out. This is Brighton, so obviously it took a while. But having been there for a couple of minutes with my eyes glued to the wing mirror (not literally - that would be painful), I saw a driver leave a short gap ahead of him and flash his lights at me. I naturally pulled straight out, whilst mentally offering to have his children and give him my last Rolo.

I was just about to raise my hand to say thank you, when he suddenly started honking his horn at me. Which came as something of a surprise. But not as much as when he stuck his head out of the car window and started hurling obscenities at me. As we continued along Eastern Road, me feeling confused, him gesticulating at me with a potty mouth like an X-rated Duke of Hazzard, I looked at his car in my rear view mirror and realised what had happened. He hadn't flashed me. He'd just chosen that exact moment to turn on his headlights.

Naturally I wanted to stop and explain the situation, but when you're in a low-speed chase with a man who looks like he could happily kill you, it's probably not a good idea to stop. And to think that thirty seconds earlier I would have had his children. That was the shortest romance in history.

Anyhoo, the good news is that I made it to Crowborough (again) without being murdered. And what's more, I've cleaned the lens of my camera. So here's another everyday scene from the High Street...

I think that's possibly the most disturbing thing I've ever seen. I thought it was an art installation from the Turner Prize for Paedophiles, but apparently they're just doing a shop-fitting for a new children's boutique. I still don't like where that boy's putting his hand though.


Phil's Mum said...

Motorists!  He obviously had a row with his wife before he left home and was just looking for someone to take it out on.  He probably DID flash you, just so he could have a go at you!  At least you didn't shout back and cause a major road rage incident!!!

Dave said...

Motorists.  They don't own the roads.  Unless they are the Queen, possibly.  It wasn't Prince Philip, was it?