I actually celebrated the end of my first year in the job by sitting a City & Guilds exam on the anatomy of the eye. The cake was for my invigilator. So needless to say I passed. As it turned out though, I didn't need to bribe him to turn a blind eye to any cheating. I was actually the perfect pupil. And if you think those puns are bad, trust me, I know cornea jokes than that.
Anyhoo, my cake purchase may have been a little short-sighted, but fortunately I've had a vision. I've seen a way of making a guaranteed fortune by the end of the week. Lisa's Mum has been busy packing up her treasured possessions, ready to move house in a few days' time, so I kindly suggested that we drive up to her flat last night and take a few boxes off her hands. I thought we could take them over to her new place in my car, to save some space in the removal van.
At least that's what I told her. My real motivation was this...
![The old ones are the best.](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqeoIz9gK7fSn6Qak9ml1EzbicpiPLmvv7-eeXKEdIFjYP3qdlVckt13A6CzmlC0Fzm4hrAMdMHwQmfEn4ScRuY3cZjQrkZh4Rv5WicbsrExEWxg6H7F8o2SJRPA09OpQVQG2u/s400/antiques+roadshow.jpg)
That banner has gone up directly opposite my flat. I've spent the past week having to look at Fiona Bruce's giant nose every time I walk out of the front door. I don't know if it's just a crease in the tarpaulin, but she looks like something out of Lord of the Rings.
Anyway, the oldest thing Lisa and I own is made out of white formica, and all our crockery's microwave-safe, but Lisa's Mum has got a few choice items from the last century. Which technically makes them more than ten years old. Sadly I have to work tomorrow, but Fiona and the team are setting up shop less than a hundred yards down the road, so I'm sending Amelie along there with some antique glassware. She'll either make the Antiques Roadshow or You've Been Framed. Either way, we're quids in.
1 comments:
My cousin stood for hours in a long queue when the Antiques Roadshow went to Bournemouth, so you'd better send Amelie out early in the morning.
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