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Wednesday, August 03, 2011

Having spent today locked in a darkened room in Haywards Heath, taking snapshots of diabetics while the rest of the world parties in the sunshine, I didn't think it was shaping up to be a very exciting day. But within an hour of getting home tonight, we went from mild midweek mundanity to major momentous milestone.

Yes, at the age of two years and ten months, Amelie's just written her first joke.

The three of us were sitting at the dinner table, eating a fine gourmet meal of cottage pie and garden peas, accompanied by a vintage bottle of Dr Thunder (which is like Dr Pepper, only cheaper and made by Asda) and I'd just passed on my compliments to the chef, who was having a pyjama day on the other side of the table due to an obvious lack of teeth, when Amelie scooped up a spoonful of veg, and said this:

"I'm having some peas..."

She then paused momentarily, before adding:

"Peas and quiet."

At which point she burst out laughing at her own joke. She's so like her father, it's scary.

In other news, I trimmed Chloe's fur last night, in response to the sweltering summer heatwave which started yesterday and is expected to carry on for at least the rest of today. It prompted an interesting response from Amelie, who examined my handiwork this morning, considered the situation, then asked "Is Chloe still a cat?", before accusing me of chopping off her whiskers. She needs to be careful who she insults. With money the way it is, I'll be cutting her hair next. It's four years since Scissorgate, and I'm taking no prisoners.

Anyhoo, I need to go and prepare myself mentally for being speared through the sole with a blunt needle tomorrow morning, but before I go, I'd just like to extend our thanks to the mystery benefactor who sent us this postcard today...

Milton Keynes Heritage
The back of the card features the phrase 'Milton Keynes Heritage', which I presume is some kind of joke, but it's one of the best gifts I've received in a long time. Mainly because it was attached to a box full of sweets. I can't be certain who sent it (although I have my suspicions), and I'm not sure if it's a birthday gift for me, or a pick-me-up for the wife, but Lisa still won't answer the door without a Spiderman mask, so frankly she's lucky we got it at all. I found the parcel on the doorstep when I got home.

But thank you, kind chocolatiers of Buckinghamshire. Your generosity is much appreciated, and the sweets are very nice. You'd never know they'd been manhandled by Winnie Mandela.


jon the bassist said...

Will you be knitting anything out of Chloe's fur like a persian rug? 

Phil's Mum said...

And where's the photographic evidence?

Dave said...

When you said 'Amelie's just written her first joke' I was expecting to see something handwritten by your child prodigy.  Or does she just type on her i-Pad?