I was lighting the gas fire in the caravan this morning for a bit of post-hurricane defrosting, when Amelie said to me “Which dogs like lying in front of the fire?”. I began explaining to her that most dogs like warmth and security, and that they’re essentially pack animals with an inbuilt, centuries-old instinct to gather around a campfire with their family. At which point she shouted “Hotdogs!”. I thought she was thirsting for knowledge; in reality she was just telling me a joke.

So on that subject, what do you get if you cross Lisa’s birthday vouchers with her summer holiday?


I’m not saying she took a long time to choose those clothes, but some of us had time for a nap...


To be fair to Lisa though, I gave her those Next vouchers so that she could treat herself to a new outfit after eight weeks of housebondage, but having spent half an hour going wild in the aisles and crazy in the changing rooms, she eventually emerged with three dresses for Amelie and a Peppa Pig umbrella...


That photo’s for illustrative purposes only. In reality, we refused to let Amelie hold it for more than five seconds, for fear that she’d end up doing an involuntary Mary Poppins impression. She’s currently only allowed to open it indoors. Which might be unlucky, but as not as unlucky as watching her paragliding towards the Isle of Man on a force nine gale.

Anyhoo, as is probably obvious, yesterday was spent pottering around Blackpool, doing a bit of shopping and dodging the showers, whilst wishing we’d packed more jumpers. The road signs of Blackpool appear to be designed to direct visitors away from the main car parks and towards the nearest speed cameras. We’re only two miles from the town centre, and I think we passed eight. But having driven around in circles for half an hour, and seen the seedier side of town (including a shop called ‘Skirts 4 Flirts’), we eventually found the indoor shopping centre. Where we discovered the same toddler ride they have at the Brighton branch of Asda...


It was like a home from home. Only colder. And with more pound shops.

We returned to the caravan park through a massive downpour, which not only gave my car a much needed wash, but also produced this view from our front steps...


I thought I could see a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, but it turned out to be another speed camera.