"I dreamt that Mummy and Daddy went on a rollercoaster without me!"
I reassured her by telling her that that the only rollercoaster we're riding is life, and that we're all in that together, before adding that the only place we ever leave her is Asda. She seemed quite happy with that. Two minutes later she was unpacking the suitcase and getting out the iPad.
But that aside, we're all ready and raring to go. Chloe's at my Mum's, the suitcase is full of thermals, we've finished Stefan's second strudel (no, seriously) and most important of all, I've photocopied Amelie's birth certificate. Having checked out a few websites last night, it appears that Blackpool Zoo, Madame Tussauds and various other attractions are all free to the under-threes, but the moment you hit 36 months, you start paying through the nose. This time next month, Blackpool Zoo will charge her £9.70 just to look at the meerkats.
So with three weeks of legitimate freeloading still available to her, we're taking no chances. We bumped into an old friend of Lisa's near the hairdressers on Saturday, and she took one look at Amelie and asked us if she started school last week. I don't want to be having that conversation with a bloke on a turnstile.
So the paperwork's in order, the wind is blowing a gale, it's pouring with rain, and the weather forecast is poor. Blackpool, here we come!