Pages

Subscribe: Subscribe to me on YouTube

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

I think last night went pretty well. Let's face it, the last time Lisa went on a date, she had to get her Mum to tell the bloke she'd gone abroad the following day. At least this time she's still in the country. Obviously I don't want to get carried away, but she says she'd like to see me again, so I think I'll play it cool and phone her in a couple of days. Unless I get a better offer in the meantime.

As for my diet, I've successfully completed two days of deprivation, although I've also had fair warning of the temptations I'll face. One of the receptionists at Crawley Hospital (she refers to herself as 'Front of House', so I keep expecting her to show me to my seat with a torch) has just become a grandmother for the first time. As a result, I spent most of today flicking through baby photos and hearing what labour feels like on two paracetamol. For the mother, that is. The grandmother was on something much stronger. I received an apology from her for the fact that I'd missed the celebratory cake last week, followed by a promise that she'll bring one in especially for me next week. I didn't like to tell her I'm on a diet. Mainly because I probably won't be by then.

After a day hearing about other people's bundles of joy, I returned home to my own this evening. Unfortunately she was busy ironing, so I quickly moved on to Amelie, who was swanning about the place in her superstar dressing gown with a cat under her arm. Having told me how much she'd missed me today, she then launched into her latest comedy routine by asking me why the chicken crossed the road. I said I didn't know, so she told me it was because he wanted to get away. To be honest, I laughed mainly out of politeness.

But never one to miss an opportunity for a bit of comedy improv, I turned on my camera and the two of us started riffing like old showbiz pros. It was essentially 'Whose Line Is It Anyway' for people with no sense of humour. I might not have unearthed a great deal of talent, but I did uncover a dastardly plot...


I think Lisa's Mum is after my iPad.

8 comments:

Phil's Mum said...

You definitely have a future as a double act - just not sure how FAR in the future.

Phil said...

I like to think we're a kind of gender-reversed Krankies. Only not as funny.

Dave said...

Congratulations.  You came closest to winning the huge prize in my competition.  Unfortunately, not close enough.

Dave said...

When you asked her 'do you know another joke' I think you could have left out the 'nother' bit.

'old' friend said...

Does she get them from her grandfather?!

Phil's Mum said...

No, she TEACHES them TO her Grandad.  You wondered where he got his sense of humour from, didn't you?

Poirot said...

Phil's Mum I think Phil's sharp wit is inherited from the maternal line surely?

'old' friend said...

You've met his father then?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?