Subscribe: Subscribe to me on YouTube

Monday, October 03, 2011

In the 2011 Garfield Lookalike Competition, one entrant is emerging as the clear favourite...

Where's Odie?
That’s Amelie loitering with intent. Well, next to the tent. You can tell she’s turned three because she now fits the age 4-5 dress she’s wearing.

But enough about Am, here’s a photo of me...

Head & Shoulder Above the Rest
That was us celebrating as a family last night, shortly before putting the birthday girl to bed, collapsing onto the sofa, and weeping uncontrollably into the cushions.

I’m joking of course. In reality, we were clearing up until midnight, and could only dream of weeping into a nice cushion.

Anyhoo, suffice it to say that Amelie did eventually wake up yesterday morning. In fact her very first words were “Is it my birthday now?”. Words which were swiftly followed by “Can I have a present?” and “Where’s the cake?”. We began the day by watching her open all the gifts we’d bought her. That didn’t take long. She basically rips the paper to pieces like an industrial shredder, takes one look at the contents, and then moves on to the next one. But before long, she was settled down on the floor with her new dog under her arm, playing with her favourite gift from last year...

Birthday Girl!
To be honest, I don’t actually remember ever giving it to her, but she seems to think it’s hers.

Obviously the most important thing for any young person’s birthday is to put the child first. So having looked outside at the beautiful weather and the sparkling sea, Lisa decided to go out on her own for a few hours. I forget why. But she left me with strict instructions to give Amelie whatever she asked for on her birthday.

So after a nutritious breakfast of ice lollies and biscuits, Amelie asked if I’d take her out somewhere. We ended up at the toddlers’ playground on the seafront, soaking up a few rays, and queuing for the children’s toilets with a load of burly blokes from the London to Brighton Landrover Run.

Two ice creams later, she and I returned home to prepare for her party. I’ve always said that you can judge the quality of your birthday bash by the party animals who attend...

And if your living room looks like the day room from a care home, you’ve got problems.

But as it happens, a lot of Amelie’s closest friends are pensioners. I think it’s because she’s mature for her age. And old people are more gullible. So we spent an enjoyable few hours celebrating her birthday in the company of her grandparents, whilst eating mini Cornish Pasties to the sound of Amelie chanting “I want another present!” ad infinitum. To be honest, you begin to tune it out after a while. Especially if you focus on the fact that she’ll be leaving home in fifteen years.

Having rolled around in her new tent, done some hand-printing on the carpet, and watched the birthday girl head-butt the furniture, we were soon fanning the flames of obesity by setting fire to a pig...

Greedy Pig
But once Amelie had blown out the candles on her Peppa Pig cake, and we’d each helped ourselves to a slice, it was time to call it a day. Before retiring for the night, Amelie informed us that she’d like it to be her birthday "forever", but having explained to her the practical difficulties of that suggestion, and refused her two-hundredth request for another present, we put her to bed in tears (mostly ours), and breathed a sigh of relief that it was all over for another year.

That’s the written account. The film version will be out in a day or two.


Phil's Mum said...

I take exception to the remarks about the care home.  Lisa doesn't look old enough anyway.

Peter Chapman said...

Lisa has caught the sun.

Phil said...

Usually she only catches her face on the furniture. It's what they call progress.

Dave said...

Who is Garfield?

Phil's Mum said...

It could be because Lisa was slaving over a hot stove all afternoon.