If you're looking for explicit photos from the Brighton swinging scene, you've come to the right place...


We did a bit of dogging shortly afterwards with a Yorkshire Terrier and a poodle. Frankly they were like animals.

Anyhoo, that was Amelie and me at Queens Park this afternoon, where we had a threesome with Lisa for a couple of hours. I pushed that girl to her limit, which, it transpired, was about forty-five minutes on a swing. My arms are aching like you wouldn't believe. But not as much as my head. Or my heart. Suffice it to say that two hours spent pushing, swinging, spinning and sliding, followed by ten minutes eating an ice cream, wasn't enough to satisfy our daughter. She threw a major tantrum when we tried to leave, and Lisa and I were reduced to dragging her through the gates of the park by her wrists like a couple of child abductors, while an entire playground full of parents half our age, turned to see where all the screaming was coming from. Never mind swinging, it was more like sadomasochism.