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Wednesday, June 13, 2012

I was doing a clinic in Uzi Valley, near Handgun Hill today, and I found myself sharing a consulting room with this fella...


I'm not sure if he's diabetic, but he can probably afford to lose a leg or two and go blind in one eye. It's particularly ironic, because the room I was working in didn't have web access.

When I got home, however, I was able to look it up on the internet, where I discovered that it's a Zebra Spider. Which is spooky, as that's the name I'd have given it, and I know nothing about arachnids. Spookier still is that it chose the right room, as Zebra Spiders never use webs, preferring to pounce on their victims instead. According to Wikipedia, they're also "noted for their awareness of humans" and "upon noticing someone observing them, they can be seen raising their head". So they're a lot like Amelie, but without the guilty expression.

Fortunately I managed to avoid being stared at and jumped on, and survived the day without turning into Spiderman, although as it transpired, the ability to swing from the ceiling might have proved useful. One of my patients phoned up this afternoon to cancel her appointment, citing the reason as 'flooding'. Apparently her neighbours were in the same boat. So why they couldn't make it, I have no idea.

Personally I think the floods were just an excuse, and she was heading for Worthing to see this chap...


Under normal circumstances of course, you'd want to steer clear of a Mann who offers to show people his eminent organ, and tries to ply them with free drinks in the hope of having an afternoon of fun, but frankly anything goes in Worthing. You'll get change out a fiver too. I'm tempted to go myself.

3 comments:

Sylvia Gardner said...

I don't think you're old enough!  As for the spider, that's really scary.  Most of your colleagues would have abandoned the clinic, so I think you deserve a medal.

A Passer-by said...

Did you give your zebra friend eye drops so it couldn't see which way to jump?!

Phil said...

To be fair, it wasn't quite as big as the picture.