Subscribe: Subscribe to me on YouTube

Saturday, June 23, 2012

If there's one person who was cheering on Sweden in their match against France at the European Football Championships last Tuesday, it was our friend H (possibly from Steps). To be honest, I don't know if that's literally true, but if she wasn't, she should have been.

It's H's 40th birthday this month, and she's throwing a party tonight at one of the glitziest and most sought-after function venues in the south-east: Lancing Leisure Centre. The invitations went out months ago, and we RSVP'd in April. But had France not lost to Sweden this week, the whole thing could have been ruined. Were it not for one shock result in the football, England would have been playing Spain tonight, and the party would have been an all-female affair. Lisa wouldn't have been there either, as I'd have refused to give her a lift. Not even H's husband would have made it. So if ever someone had cause to thank her lucky stars and play Abba all evening, it's H.

Our attendance tonight means that Amelie is spending the day at her grandparents', demonstrating how her mother gets from A to B...

Lisa would never run, of course, but other than that, it's accurate.

One old mare who can run, however, is Black Caviar in the 3:45 at Ascot this afternoon. I've been trying all week to persuade Lisa to let me put the rent money on her to win today, but despite my cast-iron assurances that the horse can't lose, Lisa's inexplicably refused to give her blessing to the venture.

In a spooky twist of fate, however, it was pay-day yesterday, and I failed to receive my travel expenses for last month, meaning that we're a couple of hundred pounds down until the end of July. Black Caviar is running at odds of about 1-5, meaning that we could instantly recoup that two hundred quid, simply by risking a thousand pounds of my salary. It's a 20% return on a five minute investment. I don't see what could possibly go wrong.

Unfortunately, Lisa can. So we might not be doing it. I think she's just jealous because I'm friends with the girl on Facebook.


A passer-by said...

See   What else can I say?!!

Peter Chapman said...

Excuse me but.... wouldn't you only need to stake £1000 @ 1-5 to win £200 ?

Phil said...

Isn't that what I said? And more to the point, I SHOULD HAVE DONE IT!!! That'll teach me to listen to Lisa...