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Saturday, March 30, 2013

If there's one thing I've always said, it's that having the unfailing support of your children can make all the difference in life...


It means you always have someone to back you up when you're lying to the authorities. And as it happens, the police were round here again yesterday. But in addition to them, we also had a visit from our good friend Marie, who popped down to Brighton to show us the fringe benefits of her new hairstyle...


We were all open-mouthed. Especially when we found out it wasn't a wig.

Anyhoo, it's always nice to catch up with Marie and swap stories on our respective lives, and sure enough, the moment I'd bundled her into the car at the station, Amelie launched straight into a lengthy account of her experiences at Peppa Pig World. I don't think the rest of us got a word in all day.

Apart from when we gagged her with chocolate. Marie was kind enough to bring Amelie a white chocolate Hello Kitty, which I took great pleasure in slicing through the neck with a sharp knife, so we did get a brief respite while the girl stuffed her face. Although she's not averse to talking with her mouth full.

As this blog post ably demonstrates, Marie's visits tend to follow a similar pattern. Basically we accept all her gifts, hand her our children, then fill her with carbohydrates and send her down to the seafront while Lisa goes to bed for the afternoon. Which explains how we ended up licking the Brighton Wheel...

Marie's recently completed a comprehensive SLR photography course, designed to teach her about composition, lighting and advanced camera settings. I'm not certain there was a module on tonguing local landmarks, but if there was, then she's completed the practical assignment with ease. She even managed to get Amelie's new trainers into shot.

£2.99. I know, I couldn't believe it either. It's the bargain of the century.

Anyway, having scootered her way all along the seafront, Amelie was naturally too tired to walk home, so Marie gave her a piggy back along Madeira Drive while I pushed Toby's buggy and carried her scooter. It seemed like a fair arrangement. Although Amelie felt it would be even fairer if we took her to McDonalds.

Having weighed up our options, and admired the art which has been jet-washed into the grime on the promenade walls, I proposed that we return home instead, and Marie seconded the motion...


As it transpired, we arrived back just in time. Five minutes after walking through the door, the bell went, and we found Lisa's old school friend on the doorstep. So clearly the sign downstairs made no difference whatsoever. We don't know who let her in, any more than we know who called the police, but both things happened within twenty minutes of each other, and she was soon being escorted off the premises in odd shoes and a dishevelled state. It was a slightly unsettling experience, but as Marie pointed out, at least it proved to her that I'm not fabricating my blog posts.

Despite the drama, Amelie hadn't forgotten about McDonalds, so with the coast clear, I agreed to drive her down to the marina for a Happy Meal. Quite honestly, our lunch was an arrestable offence with the Diet Police, so I felt McDonalds would make no difference. With that done, there was just time for Amelie and Marie to collaborate on a work of art...


I won't embarrass the artists by telling you who did what, but I'm genuinely impressed that a girl of her age can draw so well. She's only thirty-three.

Of course, a visit from Marie wouldn't be complete without a small disaster, and sure enough, just as Lisa was preparing Toby for bed, I heard a short shriek coming from the bedroom, and walked in to find Lisa with her foot in some cat poo. It seems that when I wheeled the buggy down the hallway to go out for our walk, I closed the door to the cupboard where we keep Chloe's litter tray. And then didn't reopen it.

It explains why I've cropped Lisa's legs out of this photo...


Her tights were wrapped in newspaper in the bin.

3 comments:

Phil's Mum said...

If I were Marie, I wouldn't visit till the warmer weather. She always seems to end up on the freezing Brighton sea front.

Zed said...

I miss you guys. It's far too quiet around here.

Lisa said...

That's very sweet, Zed. I crave quiet but that's usually as far as it gets.