Subscribe: Subscribe to me on YouTube

Monday, March 18, 2013

It's me on my stag do with a gorgeous young model!

That's 'stag' as in beetle, and 'young' as in four-year-old. But I'm still very much a man's man. I was ogling a cracking pair of bristols at the time. Unfortunately it was Bristol's finest museums.

Anyhoo, having been left to our own Devizes last week while Big Sis worked away in London, we decided on Thursday to follow the advice of the Village People and go west (where the skies are blue) to experience the delights of Bristol, and in particular our old friend, BS6. It's more than ten months since we last (and first) saw him, and he brought us chocolate that time, so it seemed well worth making the trip.

I've not driven into Bristol before, but fortunately I have the inbuilt sonar and advanced navigational skills of a bat. Unfortunately it's a cricket bat. Suffice it to say, we were lost within two minutes of hitting the city centre. I'd printed out a map, but it didn't seem to bear any resemblance to the mean streets we were heading down. We'd arranged to meet at the M Shed Museum on the dockside, but frankly I was struggling to find the river. And when I did, I realised we were on the wrong side of it. BS6 texted me at 1pm to ask if we were in the foyer or the café. I was tempted to reply that I wasn't even sure we were in the right city.

But fortunately, due to a combination of luck and sheer luck, we eventually found the place. Visiting Bristol's museums is a lot like stepping back in time, as demonstrated by the ticket machine in the car park...

It's the word 'new' which transports you back about twenty years. I thought it might be referring to the new(ish) nickel plated coins, but I tried an older one, and that didn't work either.

Luckily, whilst the parking might have cost me 10p more than it should, entry to the museum is free. Although they charge enough for a cream tea. We successfully rendezvoused with BS6 on the dockside, where he was doing his best to get involved in a professional photo shoot...

Obviously that was just a warm-up for the main event which was due to take place when *I* arrived with my camera...

Admittedly, I don't quite have the grace and poise of the model in the check dress, but that's because BS6 had just shoved me out of the way before the camera went off. And because I didn't have professional lighting. Fortunately, however, he's compensating for my lack of showbiz style by posing like Louie Spence.

Well, kind of.

Anyhoo, Bristol lost out on their Olympic bid due to the size of the running track pictured above, but in addition to watching Amelie sprint around in circles, we also enjoyed a very civilised cream tea in the museum café, while BS6 told us about his love of interior design and his plans to launch an assault on the Bristol music scene by fusing jazz with prog rock. Or something. To be honest, I might have made that up.

With the scones gone, we then headed out for a stroll around the docklands with BS6 acting as our tour guide. Sadly, he had to leave us shortly afterwards as he's currently forced to work for a living, and we'd probably already cost him a fortune in lost contracts, but he left us with a parting gift of an Easter egg, plus a magazine for Amelie. A magazine which proved far more distracting than anything Bristol had to offer...

If she hadn't been so engrossed in that comic, she might not have missed the elephant in the room, which was lurking on the ground at her feet in the form of a five pound note. To be fair though, we didn't notice it either until Lisa had finished taking my photo. I know I didn't drop it myself as my money is a combination of credit and loose change, but I think there's every chance BS6 stuffed it inside the comic as an extra little gift. Either way, I told Amelie it had come from the Fiver Fairy, and promptly pocketed it for myself.

The giant mirrorball we were pictured with on Friday was actually Bristol Planetarium, but as BS6 pointed out, none of those stars are unique to Bristol, so we chose not to waste our time on it. Entry to the At-Bristol Science Centre was far too rich for our blood, as were the prices in their gift shop, but fortunately their café facilities proved just as engaging...

I've never seen two people so excited by a latte and an ice cream. Anyone would think I never take them anywhere.

Anyhoo, having wandered around the docklands and soaked up both the culture and the refreshments, we headed back along the quayside past a boat called Amazon (I think they bought it online) and ended up back at the M Shed for a brief tour of Bristol's history. Amelie rode on a vintage bus, I operated a full-size set of traffic lights, and Lisa looked longingly back towards the café.

We returned to Devizes via the M4 treacle zone, a stretch of motorway which distorts the fabric of time and makes a short journey feel like a lifetime, but it was well worth making the trip, and we'd go back to Bristol in a heartbeat. Though possibly not by car.


Phil's Mum said...

Well, that was worth waiting for. It just shows you have more time for writing when you go to work!

Anonymous said...

One might make comparisons to Dieter Roth's infamously messy studio reconstructions, to Daniel Spoerri's flea-market assemblages, or to
accept everything as is and calm down. Featuring the beautiful Miho, the love pillow Pocket Pussy
is made from super soft and stretchy material to ensure intense stimulation with
every thrust.

My homepage male sex toys

Anonymous said...

Hello mates, its fantastic post concerning cultureand entirely defined,
keep it up all the time.
Read More:

Anonymous said...

Hi, Neat post. There's a problem with your website in internet explorer, would
check this? IE nonetheless is the marketplace leader and
a large section of folks will omit your magnificent writing
due to this problem.

Here is my webpage :: probiotics

Anonymous said...

This excellent website really has all the information and facts I wanted about this subject and didn't kow who to ask.

Also visit my blog real estate in cebu philippines