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Tuesday, July 30, 2013

It's Toby's first birthday!


Yes, this time last year, Lisa was punching a midwife and I was standing in a puddle of poo. We've got so many happy memories.

But enough about Toby. The important thing is that it was my 40th yesterday. And very nice it was too. If you're old, and don't yearn for excitement. I received a number of fine birthday cards, such as this one...


... this one...


... and this one...


... the last of which was surprisingly large. Lisa has a habit of selecting the smallest option at FunkyPigeon.com, but as she wrote inside this one, "Dear Phil, I love you so much I paid for the bigger sized card". It also meant that she didn't have to fold the concert tickets which were inside. She's bought me two seats (I can no longer stand for two hours) to see Deacon Blue at the Brighton Centre. It's not until December, so I've got plenty of time to decide who to take with me. And to forget the whole thing entirely.

The good news is that if my failing memory does hold out long enough for me to see a group of middle-aged musos churning out thirty-year-old hits, then I'll be able to enjoy it in comfort, as I also received some slippers. I'll be asking for a pipe next year. Amongst my other gifts were a few CDs, and I'm now in a position to sing 'Baa Baa Black Sheep' with complete conviction, as my brother gave me this book.

So having opened all my presents, Amelie and I headed out for my birthday treat: a trip to the cinema to see Monsters University. Lisa couldn't go, as her A-level results were disappointing and she had a baby to look after. The film turned out to be good, without being great, and it never really came close to matching the wit and invention of Monsters Inc. It definitely had its moments though, and Amelie sat through it without moaning, which is always a bonus. Personally I thought the highlight was The Blue Umbrella, which they showed beforehand. That had invention in spades. Although seven minutes was enough for Am.

After the cinema, we had twenty minutes on an inflatable slide at the marina, before trawling around the shops for nothing in particular. Which is precisely what we bought. My main aim was to allow Lisa to share in my birthday fun by keeping Amelie away from her for as long as possible. I was also secretly hoping that if I stayed out long enough, I'd come home to find my wife hiding inside a giant cake with tassels on her nipples.

As it transpired, I returned home to something even more surprising. It was a parcel containing this...


At the risk of offending everyone who's ever given me a gift, I think that's possibly the best birthday present I've ever had. The photo doesn't really do it justice, but it's actually an original collage made up of items which define me. Everything from the computer keys which make up my name, to the bloody fingerprint of Peter Marlin, the coffee-stained lyrics and the cheap, slightly broken, guitar is brilliantly and cleverly designed to highlight an aspect of my life, my career and me. Not only is it a work of art, but it's a work of bloody genius. And I love it.

It comes from the Milton Keynes art house of Jon Cheshire, a man with more talent in his little finger than most people have in their entire bodies. Although he does have big hands. He already fulfils two out of the three entry requirements for the YBA, and if Charles Saatchi doesn't start collecting his work forthwith, I might have to strangle him at a restaurant.

So thanks, Jon. And thanks to everyone who gave me a card, a present or a word of advice. I'll take them all, and I'll treasure them. Although whether I'll last another forty years is debatable.

5 comments:

Jon the Bassist said...

am now sav ng up for a new keyboard with all
the letters n ace.

Phil's Mum said...

I like it!! And it's a truly amazing and thoughtful work of art, Jon. Brilliant!

Jon the Bassist said...

As I said to Phil, It's just a shame that I couldn't find more plastic food to add, like Pizza, Chips, Chocolate, Cake etc etc. Although if I had added all the stuff he likes there would have been no room for anything else.

Lisa said...

It's fabulous, Jon, I love it.

Jon the Bassist said...

Thanks. Lisa make sure you dont look into those googely eyes cos it is the stuff that nightmares are made of. Also dont look at those 3 D ones in the frame either.