I've just received my first ever item of hate mail!!! I'm so proud!
Naturally I cover many important issues both here and elsewhere on the world wide web, so I'm bound to upset various minority groups at one time or another. It's almost unavoidable. Though I must admit, I didn't expect the minority group in question to be the fans of Julie Reinger, the Look East weathergirl. Admittedly, she IS the most annoying woman on planet earth, a fact I may just have mentioned once or twice before in this blog, but even so.
Enjoy with me then, if you will, a fabulous piece of creative writing. God only knows how its author found the time to sit down and write such a piece, but let's just be grateful that he did. I clearly caught him on a day when he had a gap in his busy schedule.
Today I hit one of your incestuous and self-congratulatory websites [yeh, yeh , we can see through the feigned modesty and projected insecurity] whilst in search of information about Miss Reinger the real Weather Pixie.
Just a quick note then to say - ask yourself this.
Who’s the saddest of the two of you?
Julie, who just gets bit frivolous about the weather and pulls in 791 hits on Google – most of them seemingly not of her own making.
Phil – with his bloggs, slogs, websites, multitudinous email addresses and volumes of self biography with references to every tiny insignificant, article, farticle, play, video, and outward breath, all shrieking ‘look at me look at me’, who gets 423,000 Googles – albeit, I have to admit, including a lot of other Phil Gardners.
I think I know whom would I choose – if I had to.
But that really is a gun to the head thing isn’t it!
I feel a fool now. I AM sad. Though possibly not as sad as someone who admits to searching the web for information on Julie Reinger. And then signs his e-mail with a false name, having used an address which reveals his real name. But still, I apologise nonetheless.
I'm off now to write a farticle which shrieks "look at me look at me".
Let's all calm down with a nice picture of a cat with some fruit on its head.