My five year old niece dropped by this afternoon for an impromptu hide & seek tournament, which personally I felt I won, having proved I can remain undiscovered for a good three minutes in a two bedroom flat with virtually nowhere to hide. Although I may not have lasted so long had my niece not temporarily forgotten there was a second bedroom.

I know it's unethical to place pictures of small children on the internet, for fear of attracting attention from unsavoury characters in dirty macs, but I laugh in the face of conformity and I'm scared of no one, so I'm perfectly prepared to reveal that my niece looks like this:


'Self Portrait' ©2004 M.Gardner

And besides, having arrived at my flat, it was pointed out to the hide & seek queen that she hasn't been here for quite some time. Which led to her having a brief look around before declaring "I know, but it hasn't changed much".

Honestly, do new curtains mean nothing to that girl??? If she's going to diss my flat like that, she deserves everything she gets. I'm already beginning to regret letting her play with my cuddly pigs.