My near neighbours in Great Harlings to the rear of my flat, who spent the Easter weekend building a shed in their parking space (presumeably their car's parked on the lawn), have now successfully proved that if you spend a little extra on a good quality pneumatic drill, you can produce enough noise to penetrate both double glazing and ear plugs. And what's more, they have a work ethic to be proud of - none of these lazy mid-morning starts, oh no, the destruction of their patio gets underway before Eamonn Holmes has even had a chance to get settled on the GMTV sofa.

We already have Starboard (Shotley Residents Against Port Expansion. Which I'm sure spells "Srape", not "Starboard") campaigning against a level of noise pollution which basically amounts to an occasional distant rumble, audible only on a still day, with the windows open, after a trip to the doctor to have your ears syringed. So I might ask them to add home improvements to their remit. After all, their campaign is all about environmental issues and quality of life, and has nothing to do with property prices at all. No, really.