It's funny how you find yourself put off caravanning for life after you've filed past a caravan and its car lying on their side across two lanes of the M25 on a Friday afternoon. The contents of their cutlery drawers must have been everywhere. It doesn't bear thinking about.

But still, I'm currently in Brighton, considering who to back in the Derby, while Lisa demonstrates the influence of Hell's Kitchen by insisting on preparing her signature dish ("more of a forged signature dish", as she openly admits) for me. I can't say my confidence has been particularly boosted by the reassuring words "Ignore what it looks like, it won't kill you". My mouth's watering already.