The key to any successful relationship is to ensure that you spend quality time together, so yesterday, having reached the momentous milestone of 5 months, Lisa and I chose to celebrate by spending most of the day apart. Which just goes to show that if you force your boyfriend to meet you for lunch on a Tuesday with the words "Pleeeeease... I promise I won't ask you again this week", you don't leave yourself with many options come Friday.

So instead I packed Lisa off to work with a cheese bagel and passed the day quietly writing, charity shopping, and spending some quality time with a box of Sainsburys doughnuts.

I discovered that Portslade (which is the place I'm staying, not the prison from 'Porridge') features a 'Carla Lane Animal Shelter' charity shop. Their video shelves were surprisingly lacking in episodes of 'The Liver Birds', 'Butterflies' and 'Bread', and instead filled with Graham Norton, Ali G, and 'The Royle Family'. If I was Carla, I wouldn't be happy. I hung around for a while, but the woman failed to put in an appearance, so I wasn't able to ask for tips on successful sit-com writing. She's probably too busy rescuing under-priveleged hamsters these days.

Not wishing to waste a moment's drinking time meanwhile, Lisa went straight from work to the nearest pub (I believe she chose the one which currently has no windows, after they were all smashed in by Leeds United fans last weekend), so I wasn't reunited with the love of my life until 10:30pm when I arrived to pick up her and accompanying friend.

I was thrilled to discover upon my arrival in Brighton town centre that the designated meeting place to which Lisa had conscientiously given me directions the day before, was a road that's only open to buses and taxis. (It was news to Lisa). So I weighed up the pros and cons, thought what the heck, and drove down the bus lane to Laura Ashley's. Naturally Lisa and friend were nowhere to be seen, so I parked in a no parking area, pretended I'd broken down and let the stream of buses and taxis find their own way around me. My frantic calls to Lisa's mobile were of limited use, since she'd forgotten to take it with her. Again.

Fortunately I managed to avoid arrest until the pair eventually sauntered up five minutes late, and attempted to placate me by complimenting my driving all the way home while friend stated that we make a lovely couple and expressed her desire to buy a wedding hat. Lisa generously told her she's not coming to the wedding. My cries of "what wedding?" seemed to be lost in the louder cries of "you're one of my best friends, you are". It was really quite touching.

Roll on six months.