It's always good to get your hands on an old deer. Just ask Joan Collins' husband. Mind you, the most startling thing about this photo is that Lisa managed to get both me and the deer in the frame without cutting off either of our heads. And without screaming "Deer!" and running off in the other direction, which frankly I thought she was going to do at one point. Let's just say that Lisa and animals don't go together. By her own admission, she doesn't trust the 'wild' part of 'wildlife', and getting her to within three feet of anything furry is a major achievement. She even stamps on gerbils given half a chance. Or maybe that's just her sister.

But anyhoo, in an unexpected whirlwind of property-buying events, my brother finally signed on the dotted line last Friday, contracts were exchanged yesterday, and the completion date for the purchase of my Brighton flat has been set for a scarily imminent June 16th. Meaning I have only eight days until I start paying rent, and I can't sleep due to thinking of all the things I need to get done. Which is ironic because I'm now too tired to do any of them.

But the good news is I should be a Brighton resident by the end of the month. The bad news is that in a tragic twist of fate, I found out the other day that there are only four aardvarks in the whole of Britain - two at Colchester Zoo (which I attempt to poke on a regular basis), and two living happily just off the A12 at Suffolk Wildlife Park. I had no idea just how rich in big-nosed, long-tongued, round hairy creatures this area is. Well not since my sister moved to Texas. I'm keen to get down to Brighton, it's true, but leaving the aardvark capital of the UK could be a bit of a wrench.